Lance Storm Believes Firefly Funhouse Segments Are Inside Complaints & Burial Of WWE

On the Figure Four Daily podcast that was released on Friday, Bryan Alvarez asked Lance Storm his opinion about the Firefly Funhouse segments. The following is a partial transcript of that segment.

Lance Storm: “Correct me if I’m wrong, aren’t the writers making fun of Vince McMahon right in front of his nose with these segments? The Firefly Funhouse is the WWE. The opening song is ‘We’re glad you’re our friend. It’s a friendship that will never end.’ Bray keeps doing, ‘Let me be the light. I’ll show you the way.’ All of the skits are all of the inside complaints about the company. There was the husky pig that was eating too much. It’s like, ‘you’ll never get a push because you’re a fat slob.’ There was the condor that ate the rabbit, that ate up his own and was rewarded for it. The last one that I saw he bludgeoned the rabbit with a hammer. Because he was revealing the secrets on what really happens in the Firefly Funhouse. It was Dean Ambrose! All of these skits are all of the inside bad stories you hear about WWE. The Firefly Funhouse is the WWE. He even has the hurt & heal gloves. Which back in the day was the old joke, you either get the carrot or the stick. He’s got the hurt and the heal gloves and it depends on which one you get. You either get the carrot or the stick. I don’t know whether Vince realizes it, or he’s doing it because he thinks that its inside and no one will get it or whether they will think it’s funny. But these segments are a burial of WWE.”

Bryan Alvarez: “Theres also the possibility that this isn’t what you think it is, but it is. In a sense that they think they’re creating this insane world. And they don’t even realize that this insane world they are creating is an actual mirror of WWE.

Lance Storm: “One of the videos I saw Bray is hammering a sign on the door and it says ‘Abandon all hope, ye who exit here.’ It’s threatening people. If you leave WWE you abandon all hope. These skits are just… If he [Vince] realizes what they are, I’m like, ‘why would you put them out there?’ And if he doesn’t, are the writers laughing that they’re able to get this stuff on television?”

Bryan Alvarez: “No writer is dumb enough to do that without Vince’s knowledge. Because if he finds out, they’re done. It’s either on purpose or its not being done. It’s inadvertently what you’re saying.”

Lance Storm: I had to go back and search YouTube. At the beginning they’re a little more subtle and they just get more and more blatantly obvious.”

Bryan Alvarez: “We do now have a Vince McMahon puppet.”

Lance Storm: “The devil puppet of Vince that basically told Husky, ‘You’re too fat and slovenly, you’ll never succeed here.’ The last one where they killed the rabbit because he was threatening to reveal the secrets of what really goes on in the Firefly Funhouse. I’m like, ‘OMG, don’t air your dirty laundry when you leave the company or we’ll come kill you!’

Bryan Alvarez: “Oh man. I’ll never look at it the same way again.”

Lance Storm: “Did you not notice this?”

Bryan Alvarez: “Nah.”

Lance Storm: “I was just like, ‘OMG! WTH is going on? How is this on television?’ ”

Bryan Alvarez: “I don’t take enough drugs to fully understand what this thing is about.”

Lance Storm: “Maybe also too is that you never actually worked there [like I did].”

Bryan Alvarez: “Thats true. I hear about it every day.”

Lance Storm: “Maybe you wouldn’t get the hurt and the heal gloves for the carrot and the stick. When the rabbit and the condor fought amongst themselves and the one guy ate the other guy up, he was rewarded for it.”

Bryan Alvarez: “Well now I’ll look at it in a whole new light.”

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