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The EXCELLENCE IN COLUMN WRITING has returned here exclusively at LordsofPain.net / WrestlingHeadlines.com. I always enjoy the recent random encounters when WWE Monday Night RAW breaks through and gets above 3 million viewers. I always get the trolling “see, see, Tito, not permanently under 3 million viewers”. Just cracks me up. For anyone wondering how to be a successful writer, just look for techniques that cause your readers to remember things that you said a long time ago. Then, of course, I’m the kind of guy who reminds these WWE marks that RAW has been UNDER 3 million viewers for just the last 17 of 20 weeks… Yeah, let’s IGNORE THAT.
We’re in Royal Rumble territory now and it’s the first week away from Football competing in that spot… Sure, fans will give RAW a try… But the question isn’t what happens this week, but long term. Like I said, 17 out of 20 weeks of being under 3 million. Better check yo’self before you wreck yo’self when talking smack to good ol’ Mr. Tito. I’ll give you the middle finger and tell you to “GET OFF MY LAWN”.
NOW – Were we can be in agreement is with Braun Strowman. He was a big feature of that show with the way he was going ballistic. We’ve never seen Roman Reigns pop ratings but we’ve seen a few odd spots where Braun has popped numbers (like one random match versus Big Show last year). If that is correct, it goes to show you was a MASSIVE MISTAKE that the WWE made at WWE No Mercy 2017 when Brock Lesnar defeated Braun Strowman with just one F5 in just 9 minutes. In my opinion and I stated this many times during 2017, the WWE should have had Braun Strowman win the Rumble match at Royal Rumble 2018 and then it is Braun, NOT Roman Reigns, to be the one who defeats Brock Lesnar for the WWE Universal Title. Then, you run wild with Braun as a badass babyface World Champion who is “larger than life” to draw legitimate fans into arenas.
HOWEVER – Where Braun Strowman may struggle is being convincing as a pro wrestler… No, I’m not talking about the in-ring work. He’s fine there. I’m talking about the ridiculous ability to LIFT Ambulances and Semi-Trucks. Seriously…
An Ambulance can weigh between 10,000 to 14,000 pounds. A Semi Truck without a trailer can weigh about 20,000 pounds.
Sooooooo… If Braun Strowman can lift both with his bare hands, how can any wrestler survive against him in the ring? Seriously. If he can pick up a 10K to 14K Ambulance and tip it over… Why does he not pick up Brock Lesnar and throw him several hundred feet across the arena? Hell, Braun could be able to lift Brock Lesnar and Kane with one arm each. Brock weighs just over 280 pounds while Kane (Glenn Jacobs) weighs around 320 pounds. Please… Their combined weight is no match for what Braun Strowman has lifted.
And we’re not even getting into the fact that Braun Strowman was once crushed by a a Trash Compactor!
See where this is going, folks?
Contrast that with New Japan Pro Wrestling‘s hype for Wrestle Kingdom 12. Now, you know that I’m not a NJPW mark, so thus this isn’t another pro-New Japan column. My point is this… Chris Jericho got heat simply by jumping Kenny Omega and drawing blood. I can believe that because it can actually happen. If I punch someone enough on their head, they could bleed! Simple actions that any human being could do.
NOBODY and I REPEAT NOBODY can lift any vehicle that weighs 10,000 pounds of more. Not physically possible by any human standards.
That’s what happens in the PG Era. Because the WWE is terrified to inject any forms of reality into their wrestling product, the idiotic WWE Creative Team come up with these “safe” ideas where Braun will lift vehicles instead of physically destroying another competitor. In the end, we have a product that looks goofy. After all, anywhere Braun Strowman goes, fans will ask him to lift something large in size. Well, he can’t! He’ll let the fans down who ask.
It’s just logic, folks… NOBODY can lift Ambulances or Semi-Trucks by themselves. It is not physically possible and nobody is going to believe someone from the WWE could do it, either.
RONDA ROUSEY in the WWE
Reports suggest that the WWE is near signing a deal with former MMA fighter Ronda Rousey. Rumors have been ranging of having Rousey enter the first ever Women’s Royal Rumble match to wrestling either Charlotte or Asuka at Wrestlemania 34. Either way, it appears that the WWE have been inquiring for a while about Rousey and their timing is great… Rousey was last seen in UFC and as a Mixed Martial Artist on December 30th, 2016. She has lost 2 fights in a row and some of the bigger movie roles seen in the past years have sort of dried up. She’s looking for work and the WWE Corporation is willing to pay her.
While bringing in one of the biggest UFC draws of all time sounds like a great idea, it could have its issues in the WWE. Becoming a pro wrestler or “sports entertainer” is not easy. Many have tried it from other sports and many have taken years to succeed (like power lifter Mark Henry). While most will suggest that “Brock Lesnar did it”, I’ll point out that Brock Lesnar was a WWE wrestler FIRST and UFC Fighter SECOND. Then he returns to the WWE but was once a trained pro wrestler. Lesnar was under the WWE’s developmental system as trained by Danny Davis and Jim Cornette at Ohio Valley Wrestling. Ronda Rousey has 0% training heading into the WWE on how to take bumps and performing traditional wrestling moves.
Instead of just ranting on Ronda Rousey potentially in the WWE, let’s get a bit organized and list the PROS and CONS of her joining the promotion.
-PROS of Ronda Rousey Joining WWE-
While she wasn’t a pro wrestler in the past, she was involved with Wrestlemania 31. She sat ringside and was readily available for the Rock to use her to manhandle Stephanie McMahon after Stephanie slapped the Rock. Rock said that he refused to hit a girl but he knew someone who would… Rousey was brought into the ring and there was an angle between Rock/Rousey vs. Triple H/Stephanie.
Huge Pay Per View Draw for UFC
Cannot deny numbers. Her last 2 fights were losses which she headlined and it drew over a million buys each! The Pay Per View before that, where she won (UFC 190) with her headlining just did 900,000. Yikes!
Big name, could draw in casual viewers.
Getting to the previous point of her as a Pay Per View draw, she was a huge drawing talent for UFC and gave them mainstream media coverage for her success. That is unless her 2 losses are unforgiving.
Could open the door for other MMA women’s fighters to try WWE
If Ronda Rousey is successful, it could convince other MMA fighters whom the UFC promotion has discarded. After your MMA career is over as a female, where do you go?
WWE can protect her from losing.
Beauty of pro wrestling is that it can preserve and protect top stars by simply controlling the wins and losses. For Rousey in the UFC, those last 2 losses were devastating to her MMA career. However in the WWE, the Creative Team can protect you from bad, career-defining losses. Furthermore, your career can be extended into your late 30s and throughout your 40s in pro wrestling. Hell, look at 50 year old Goldberg looking great despite his age. The booking can protect and preserve star power because everything is scripted.
However, there are valid cons…
-CONS of Ronda Rousey Joining WWE-
Those 2 losses were brand smashing ones. She went from World’s Toughest Woman to, well, 2nd or 3rd toughest woman. Her losses were under 1 minute and by Knockout. It’s one thing if you go out in a fight but these were beatdowns in which the physical damage was easily seen.
Translating UFC to WWE is hard without prior pro wrestling training.
Go ask Ken Shamrock and Dan Severn how easy it is to become a pro wrestler. I liked the work that Shamrock did but it wasn’t that convincing. He was never a World Champion in the WWE, nor could he get close. Dan Severn was just all business inside the ring and wasn’t embracing the other part of wrestling. Learning how to bump, sell moves with psychology, and to put on a match that looks convincing yet is safe to wrestlers is not that easy to learn overnight. Plus, you need to cut promos… Shamrock and Severn were awful at it. If WWE gets Rousey, they’ll want to use her immediately which means a lack of in-ring training will occur.
She’s not as notorious as Mike Tyson through 1998
Many are suggesting that this signing is like the WWE’s 1998 signing of Mike Tyson. Nope, not even close. Mike Tyson through early 1998 was infamous. He was just coming off of the Evander Holyfield fights and the second one featured Tyson getting suspended from boxing after legitimately biting off Holyfield’s ear! And oh yeah, just before that boxing comeback, Tyson spent time in jail for sexual assault. So when Steve Austin shoved Mike Tyson on that famous Monday Night RAW, it was quite a dangerous thing to do for any human being. Rousey obviously doesn’t carry that dangerous and unpredictable stigma that Tyson once had. Tyson bit a fighter’s ear off!
Stephanie McMahon LOVES her.
This is where I get worried… Stephanie McMahon adores Ronda Rousey and will very likely want to get heavily involved in her WWE career. With the focus on Rousey, all of those other wrestler will get pushed aside.
WWE already has a talented and deep roster full of women.
Look at what Triple H developed! Both RAW and Smackdown have a pretty reasonable roster of female wrestlers, several of which are extremely talented in-ring workers. It’s not like the division was limping along as it were 4 years ago when female wrestlers were still called “Divas”. All of that hard work to build up the women’s division and now Rousey will get anything she wants from the WWE. Could be a morale killer.
WWE could cheapen her brand.
Instead of working her way up to make a comeback in UFC, she’s joining the WWE. I could see that being viewed as a step back for her or a desperate move not to rejoin UFC after the 2 losses. UFC is a real sport whereas WWE is a scripted form of entertainment.
The PROS could outweigh the CONS… My worry is that Ronda Rousey is just settling to become a pro wrestler because of a lack of opportunity elsewhere. If she’s just settling or considers it just a job, then the passion won’t be there to become a strong performer. I just don’t know what her passion is for working for the WWE. If it goes horribly wrong, it’s quite a moral crusher for the locker room.
Maybe the WWE could have Ronda Rousey lift Ambulances or Semi-Trucks, maybe survive some trash compacting action? Why not?
SO JUST CHILL… ‘TIL THE NEXT EPISODE!
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