Unsanitary Truth Sauce: 8 Amazing Benefits of DDP Yoga

Do you even yoga, bro?  Probably not.  I didn’t either.  Yoga is for women.  Women and turtles.  That’s why I decided to do DDP Yoga, instead. Trust me, “This ain’t your momma’s yoga.”  This yoga is hosted by DDP himself, so if you ever needed a reason to workout, just remember that you could be doing it with DDP yelling in your face.  That’s probably not enough to convince you though, right?  What could you, the mecca of manhood, possibly gain from DDP Yoga?  No matter what stage you are in life right now (overweight, old, injured) you can benefit.  Here are 8 amazing benefits from DDP Yoga.

 

This is well known nowadays, but Diamond Dallas Page started wrestling when he was already well into his late 30s.  This is an age when most people would be thinking of their exit strategy, but here comes DDP ready to begin his journey. The problem is that most people are ready to call it quits around 40-years-old because your body can’t take the impacts as well as it used to, and Diamond Dallas wasn’t any different.  All the tumbles and rolling took a toll on his body, and his at-the-time wife, Kimberly Page, had taken notice.  She recommended to DDP that he try yoga, but DDP being a man manlier than the manliest of men, he resisted.  Eventually, however, the pain had become too much to bear and he gave in.  Loving the results, DDP embraced yoga and to paraphrase his own slogan, he “made it his own.”  DDP created DDP Yoga to hold back the hands of time and the rest is history.  If DDP does yoga, and DDP began wrestling at the age of nearly 40, and DDP could make Chuck Norris tapout using only his eyelid muscles, then you have nothing to be ashamed of when you say you do DDPYoga.

 

There may not be a bigger crossover superstar than Y2J Chris Jericho.  From WWE to New Japan to rock star and podcast extraordinaire, Chris Jericho is in high demand and for good reason.  What would the wrestling world be like without Jericho? As some may not know, we were very close to finding out.  Jericho suffered a back injury in 2011.  What caused the back injury?  Was it the lionsault?  Was it a high-risk maneuver? Was it literally anything wrestling related at all?  Come on, I’m clearing baiting you.  He was injured while rehearsing for Dancing with the Stars.  During his rather short time on the show, Jericho managed to hurt his back with a herniated disc.  Jericho described the pain as one of the worst pains he’s ever felt in his life, and if was because of this that Jericho had no plans to return to wrestling.  He mentions how every day activities like bending over and sneezing were becoming too much for him.  Luckily, we live in the same reality as the one that holds DDP, who recommended his program to Jericho to rehabilitate his back.  Jericho was a little skeptical, because again, Jericho is a man and men don’t do yoga, right?  Except as we already established in #8, only real men do DDP Yoga and Jericho is a man. The next time you see Jericho flying in the air and bashing his knee into someone’s skull while landing flat on his own back, thank DDP for that.

 

You’re still not convinced, right? You and I both know you lift, bro.  What is going to happen to your wicked biceps when you start doing those girly girl yoga moves, right?  Ryback’s got your… back. You can’t just pick up Mark Henry and do a march around the ring without lifting a weight or two on your free time. And work time. Lunch time.  Hammer time.  Really, all times.  You know he goes to the gym just by looking at him, but can you also tell he does yoga? No, you can’t, don’t lie.  During his time as Skip Sheffield, Ryback had hurt his ankle and it had taken him out of the ring for months.  Also, it’s hard to lift those weights with a broken ankle so Skipback needed an alternative.  “Here’s DDP Yoga,” the workout gods said to him, and for months it was what he did.  RyField liked the results so much that he implemented parts of the program into his own workout routine.  If you are what you eat, then it looks like Ryback ate a whole gym full of Rybacks, and he never stopped doing DDP Yoga.

(The Wrestling Podcast Network interview with DDP)

Gabriel Iglesias is a slightly overweight comedian who is known for his comedy, standing up, and being slightly overweight.  It wasn’t always that way, however. He used to be known for comedy, standing up, and being pretty overweight. He even had a comedy special called Hot and Fluffy which incidentally is the name of the move I use at the end of my dates which never works. Gabriel went on Conan to talk about his 125lb weight loss and to do a little demonstration in front of the live audience.  He’s talked about how the results are so astonishing that people even asked him what surgery he had to help him lose that weight.  You don’t have to be a weight lifter.  You don’t even have to be athletic.  DDP Yoga is for everyone.  It’s not technically designed as a weight loss program.  It just happens to be an amazing benefit. Like, World of Warcraft, except not for virgins.

If you want to talk about manly activities, then why aren’t we talking about Josh Barnett punching people in the face? Josh is a decorated MMA fighter and pro wrestler. He joins Tito Ortiz, Jim Miller, Dan Severn, and Chuck Zito in the group of MMA fighters who added DDP Yoga into their routine.  Because the program is designed for no impact on the joints and to stretch your muscles, it’s a perfect workout for someone looking to improve their submission game and cardio.   You’ll be able to resist submissions* and roll around the mat quicker, too. *MMA skills not included.

 

When Goldust returned to the WWE, I think we all expected him to do one match and then disappear.  What you probably didn’t expect was a much trimmer, quicker, and younger looking Goldust putting on a wrestling clinic with Randy Orton.  Goldust attributes this improvement to eating healthy, working hard, and honestly if you weren’t expecting me to say DDP Yoga then I’m not sure how you made it this far. With DDP Yoga, Goldust is running faster and bending easier.  You can refuse to believe anything else written here today, but you can’t deny the results that are right in front of your eyes.  Goldust found a way to hold back those hands of time and turned a one-night only return into a whole new phase of his career, and you can thank DDP for that.  Of course, it eventually led to the creation of Stardust which you can also thank DDP for, because even the Yoga Gods give with one hand and take with the other.

 

Jake the Snake Roberts and Scott Hall took a comparable route in life.  They were both pro wrestlers who gave into their vices and the demons took over.  Both were on the verge of death.  Enter Diamond Dallas Page.  Dallas didn’t just hand them a signed copy of his amazing yoga DVD set and send them on their way.  No, are you kidding me?  DDP opened his home to these men.  Dallas doesn’t just give up on friends which is another great moral to take away with this column. Dallas did a lot for them, but yes, they even did DDP Yoga. Why?  Well, part of taking back your life is taking back your ability to stand upright.  When you can’t bend over or get out of a chair without assistance, you don’t have control over your life. Period. Somewhere around the time addiction takes over you lose your will to get up in the morning. To live. Thanks to DDP Yoga (and let’s face it, many, many other rehabilitation methods) both Scott Hall and Jake Roberts were able to regain their muscle and before you know it they were bending over whenever they damn well pleased. Not bad for two men who were on the verge of death.

(No link, just go buy the Resurrection of Jake the Snake dvd)

Now, I know you’re probably thinking that these two men should have been at the top of the list.  But, someone deserves it more than them as hard as that is to believe.

Meet Arthur.  Arthur was a paratrooper during the Gulf War who injured both his back and knees because of too many rough landings.  Doctors told him he was never going to walk again.  Arthur had an idea to try yoga, but not surprisingly, no personal trainers would take him.  Most considered him too big of a risk and others considered him a lost cause.  They agreed – he was never going to walk again.  It was impossible.  No one, that is, except Diamond Dallas Page.  Dallas looked at Arthur as a challenge. It had taken Arthur only a year to lose around 100lbs.  More importantly than that, Arthur wasn’t just walking again.  That would make an interesting story, but no.  He wasn’t just walking.  He was running.  Yeah, someone who doctors said would never walk again without assistance often goes for jogs on his own nowadays.  The doctors were wrong: nothing is impossible. Diamond Dallas Page created a program that was meant to start his career, but it ended up saving a life.

If you click on any source link I’m supplying you with today, it needs to be this one. Trust me.

 

I’m a freelance writer, part time photo manipulator, temporary cat sitter, and currently a broken table.  You can follow me on twitter @timrosetweeting

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